Don't sleep on Part 4!
Hooray, Dollywood!
Although the rain held off during our Tuesday hiking excursion in the Smokys, the news wasn't great for Wednesday, with scattered showers forecast for most of the day. However, when it's your last day in the area and you've already bought your tickets online, you grab your raincoat and head to Dollywood anyway!
Full disclosure - although I'm not really a country music fan, like many people in the USA, particularly those with ties to this area, I'm absolutely over the moon in awe of Dolly Parton. She's not only funny with a "greatest quotes" list that would rival Mark Twain ("it takes a lot of money to look this cheap" is my personal favorite), but to call her a prolific songwriter and singer would be an understatement (I think most people know that she's the original writer and singer of the smash hit, "I Will Always Love You," made most famous by Whitney Houston - in case you didn't, now you do). In addition, she's just a darn great human. She donates tons of money every year to charitable causes, and has started several of her own, including the Imagination Library; she also was one of the earlier backers of COVID-19 vaccine research. It's no wonder that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame decided to induct her as part of their class of 2022, even though she attempted to decline their offer.
I mean, come on.
She's the best.
As I mentioned in a prior blog, growing up, Mom, Jim, and I headed to the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area a few times, but the chance to go to Dollywood had never materialized. When Chris and I planned this trip, I made sure it was on the agenda.
The
park itself has been in operation since the early 1960s, although the association with Dolly didn't start until 1986. In a lot of ways, Dollywood is like most other theme parks - it has roller coasters and kiddy rides, it has mediocre, overpriced food, and it has exhibits and shows. What sets it apart from the others, however, is the general feeling. It doesn't feel like an crass attempt to cash in on the popularity of movies or tv shows (*cough, Universal Studios*), it doesn't feel like just one more cog in an evil empire concerned mainly with world domination and plush toy sales (looking at you, Disney), and it doesn't feel like a spot specifically designed to attract all of the sh*ttiest people you knew in high school (has that been just my experience at every Six Flags in the country?).
Instead, Dollywood comes across like a theme park that wants to immerse you in the feeling of the local area, mainly through the lens of its most famous resident. To that end, the musical acts are those that mirror Dolly's own history - gospel, country, Americana - and they're absolutely top notch. The rides are themed in the same way - the newest coaster, the Lightning Rod, for example, is an homage to 50s car culture. The food is what you'd define as classically Appalachian/Southern as well. There are exhibits and attractions where you can visit Dolly's tour bus, see a replica of her childhood cabin, and watch artisans and craftspeople at work. There's a very cohesive feeling to the whole thing, which is not something I remember experiencing in the same way in most other theme parks I've visited.
We started our Wednesday the same way we'd started every other day so far, having breakfast and hot drinks on the front porch of the cabin, and before too long, we were on our way into downtown Pigeon Forge to Patriot Park and the main trolley transit station. While you can absolutely park your car at Dollywood proper, it costs $25, which seemed a bit steep. In researching this part of the trip, I read somewhere that you can instead take the Pigeon Forge Trolley to the main entrance for a whopping $3 per person (which is a full-price, round trip, all day pass, by the way). We were more than happy to go that route, and it worked out great - just bring cash to the transit center, and get ready to be called "honey" by the adorable septuagenarian working the counter.
All aboard the trolley!
After the short, 15-minute ride from the Patriot Park station, the trolley dropped us at the main gates, and we headed into the park. We made a beeline for the coaster mentioned above, the Lightning Rod, and waited only about 5 minutes before we were placed in the front car (we weren't expecting that, for sure). The Lightning Rod was incredible, and it would be well worth even a lengthy wait; I was screaming and laughing so hard that I wondered why I'd bothered to wear mascara, as it was now running down my cheeks. With a quick stop in the restroom to remedy this, we hoofed it to the Mystery Mine ride and enjoyed it as well.
Neat eagle made from the ends of pieces of wood
The Halloween/Fall Festival decorations
had just made their appearance when we visited
There was plenty of water falling from the sky this day,
thank you!
While our Mystery Mine car was waiting to come back into the station and let us disembark, we heard the operators announce that the ride was closing down. Since lightning had been spotted within a 5 mile radius of the park, any ride that had a chance of attracting a strike was now on hold. We hovered at the entrance to our next planned coaster, the Dragonflier, for a few minutes, but eventually, we gave up the cause and wandered along to see what else we could find in the park prior to lunchtime (I think we killed time by shopping for souvenirs).
Lunch was at the Front Porch Café, which seemed like a solid bet. The more popular spot in the park is Aunt Granny's restaurant, which is an "all you care to eat" buffet-style option focused on traditional southern fare. We're not really a "fight for your food in an amusement park" family, so we picked Front Porch based on its menu, which was similar, and its offering of standard, restaurant-style table service. We started with the collard spinach dip, which was really good and made me want to recreate it at home; the only issue here was the carb dipping option - limp, room temperature OG-wannabe breadsticks - all they needed was a good toast, and they would have been totally fine. As it was, we abandoned them and finished off the dip on its own. Our mains were a pork belly BLT (Chris) and traditional, fried chicken sandwich (me); they were both fine, but generally underwhelming. Chris' bread needed a toast (were all the toasters broken the day we went to Dollywood?!?!?), and my sandwich was just fine, overall. My favorite experience of the meal was when Chris took his first sip of his seasonal peach sweet tea and immediately went into diabetic shock (okay, maybe not really, but close); while he expected it to be sweet, he didn't expect it to taste like half a bottle of Caro was dropped in his glass. We mixed the contents of our two glasses together (I had regular, unsweet tea), and everything eventually came out okay.
Post-lunch, we headed for Dolly's tour bus and enjoyed wandering through a much larger RV than our own, ogling the extensive makeup area and closet.
The small kitchen area -
overall, it was aggressively pink
Now that's a makeup station!
So pink!
As we continued our wandering, it started to really rain, and we spent some time watching the glass blowing exhibition, which was fun.
The ducks were the only park visitors enjoying the downpour
Rather wet
The downpour didn't last too long, and we made our way to the train, hoping to catch the 1:00pm departure around the park.
That's the Lightning Rod in the back,
across the lake
It's truly a real, working steam engine.
There's even announcements about what to do
if you get a cinder in your eye
while you're aboard.
Let's go!
That's a very wet train station
The conductors start boarding the train about 15 minutes before each departure, so after 12-13 minutes in our seat, we'd heard the safety announcements (the cinder in the eye thing, the "don't jump off the moving train" talk, etc), we'd stowed our gear, and we were all ready to depart. It must have been just 60 seconds before the train's scheduled 1:00 departure, when the ride warden came over the address system and announced that since lightning had once again been sighted within five miles of the park, our train excursion was cancelled. Boo!
I guess safety is important,
but LAME.
Since we'd toured the rest of the park and watched several craft exhibits more than once, we figured it was time to make our exit, but not before having some of the delicious cinnamon bread that's a staple among Dollywood guests. While most folks stand in line at the Old Grist Mill to order it (an actual retired mill wheel), you can also find it at the bakery in the front of the park, and since that was on our way out (and there was no wait), we chose that option.
Noms!
I know this looks just like a pan of
Pillsbury cinnamon roll dough,
all cooked up and frosted,
but it was way better than that.
It was clearly made on-site,
with real butter and cinnamon,
and it was delicious.
We could not finish this
with just the two of us,
and it weighed at least 4-6 pounds.
Good thing we walked a lot.
Before too long, we were boogying through the exit and over to the tram station, and after a short wait, we took the Pigeon Forge trolley back to Patriot Park. Since we were close by, we visited the
Pigeon River Pottery shop at the Old Mill to find a new cooking utensil crock, which we asked them to ship home (it was big and heavy and fragile - we didn't want to chance shoving it into our luggage).
It'll hold so many spoons!
By 3pm, we were back at the cabin, taking a nap and starting our final load of laundry for the trip. We watched some tv, then headed back into town for dinner at the
Smoky Mountain Brewery, which was just okay (this was our day for mediocre food, apparently). Post-dinner, it was again back to the cabin, where we hit up the hot tub one last time and started our packing.
On the next blog, we bid adieu to Tennessee and head north to Kentucky!
Later!
Amy
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